Pricey ABBY: I have been with my partner for seven several years, and I’m tired of obtaining the same combat every day. He smokes cannabis, and I loathe it. It has been a consistent fight for a long time. We experimented with treatment, which assisted for a whilst, but he goes back to using tobacco powering my back again. We tried using to access a compromise that he smoke only right after a certain time of working day, but it continue to prospects to fights.
He shuts me out when he’s undertaking medications and suggests I really do not treatment about his joy because it is something he enjoys, and I am having it away. I adore him so a lot, but I loathe prescription drugs and never like who he gets to be when he’s smoking cigarettes.
I want to have a child, but I am uncomfortable with drugs remaining in the home. I sense like I just can’t belief him to be by itself with a baby when he’s significant. I really do not want to depart him, but I just cannot consider it any longer. Acquiring the exact struggle each day is exhausting, and it is experienced a actually destructive influence on our relationship. I want him to choose me about this, but if I give him an ultimatum, he’ll loathe me. What do I do? — ANTI-DRUG IN ILLINOIS
Dear ANTI-DRUG: Give your husband that ultimatum and pack your bags. If you want the father of your baby not have a cannabis pattern and he are unable to give up, then, as a great deal as you could appreciate him, this individual isn’t The 1 for you. Sorry.
Expensive ABBY: I’ve browse your column for a long time, regularly getting suggestions you give to other individuals and applying it to my conditions. I have formulated a mutual bond with a girl who is 30 — 28 decades younger than myself. She’s a waitress at a diner I recurrent. I’ve noticed her young children expand above the earlier six or 7 many years. We have experienced a lot of meaningful discussions and shared our highs and lows. She’s by natural means helpful.
3 or 4 decades back, she began sharing relaxed facet hugs when I arrived. I under no circumstances talk to for them. More than the final calendar year, these hugs have turn out to be a lot more intimate, not in a sexual way — just a deeper bond of friendship. We at times IM when she’s off work, but I do not see her socially.
Currently she has been teasing that she’ll be my subsequent ex. I reciprocate the flirting and teasing. I think there is a mutual attraction. If not for the age distinction, which I’m Ok with, or the worry of causing problems with our friendship, I’d talk to her out. Societal taboos weigh intensely on my brain, and I am pragmatic. Ought to I or shouldn’t I? Or am I looking through much too much into our friendship? — Uncertain IN THE MIDWEST
Pricey Unsure: Not possessing witnessed the chemistry concerning the two of you, I could not say. Nonetheless, almost nothing ventured, absolutely nothing gained. The next time you see her, right after one of those “more intimate” hugs, inform her teasingly that you have been considering about her comment that she’ll be your following ex and talk to if she’d like to have dinner with you someday. Her response will tell you if you have been studying far too considerably into the friendship.
Dear Abby is prepared by Abigail Van Buren, also identified as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Make contact with Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To purchase “How to Write Letters for All Instances,” mail your title and mailing handle, moreover check or money get for $8 (U.S. money), to: Pricey Abby — Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are incorporated in the value.)
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